We are Broken
by brightglo
Summary: Leah nows all to well about losing someone you love. And when certain news almost takes her over the edge. Someone makes a proposal, that is all so tempting. Blackwater One-shot! Rated T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

** This is just a little one-shot I wanted to do. Its a Blackwater, enjoy!**

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Leah ran as quickly as she could to the cliffs, the only place where she could breathe. The only place she could dream and hope for better days. Having her father die was painful enough. But the announcement of Emily and Sam's marriage was too much. Couldn't they just let her live her miserable life? No they had to make everything harder. Kissing and hugging affectionately right in front of her face. Disgusting beings.

She finally arrived to her favorite place, the cliffs that hung over the dark water of the ocean. She welcomed the salty breeze onto to her russet skin. It calmed her shaking body that was dying to phase. But she needed quietness, and the addition of the minds of teenage boys would drive her to the edge. Leah sat down on the soft grass close to where the cliffs ended.

Sam and Emily were finally tying the knot she thought. It angered her though she knew it would come one day. All she could think of was that she should be Emily. She should be the one marrying Sam and living a happy life. But no she had to be cursed with being the bitter ex.

The ex-girlfriend who couldn't get over Sam. Leah had seen it in Emily's eyes, the flash of annoyance or anger when Leah would come around, that she tried to cover up with fake friendliness. Which wasn't often, Leah tried to avoid Sam and Emily as much as she could. But they seemed to be everywhere, everywhere she went they were there. Shopping for her mom and Emily would be there. Cookouts or tribe meetings they would be there, looking at each other lovingly. And if they weren't in her sight, they were in her ears. Leah's mom loved to talk about the future _Uleys_.

How could her mother be so heartless to basically rub it in Leah's face that she was alone? That Emily had took her place as Sam's girl. How could life be such a cruel bitch? Leah picked up a gray rock beside her and tossed it over the edge. She heard as it plopped into the dark water below. She leaned forward to peek over the cliff. It was a far fall down. Maybe even deadly. Leah stood up, stepping closely to the edge.

The height looked so tempting, maybe if she could just… The crunch of leaves alerted her, breaking her from her train of thought. She took a sniff of the air as the footsteps continued to come closer. Jacob. She could smell him and hear the rhythmic beat of his heart. "What are you doing Leah?" His husky voice traveling to her ears. She shivered slightly at the tone of his voice.

Leah had always tolerated Jacob as Billy's little son. But he was far from little now. As she turned around, he confirmed her thoughts. He stood almost seven feet tall, and amazingly muscular. Leah shook her head and returned back to his question. "None of your business, Black." she said lowly. No one cared about her, well Seth did but not as much now that he had imprinted.

"Well it looks like you are thinking about going over." Jacob said continuing toward her. Jacob had never really thought of Leah to be the suicidal type, but she definitely looked like it now. And he knew why, the news of Sam and Emily eloping had spread like wild fire throughout the rez. And he was sure Leah had heard about it. She squared her slumping shoulders as he stood beside her.

Her brown eyes were red and puffy from what looked like she had been crying. "Have you been crying Leah?" Leah frowned up at the massive boy with black eyes. "No. And if I hear about this from anyone else, I will kill you with my bare hands. Do you understand me?" She growled. The last thing Leah need was for everybody knowing about the tears she had shed for her pain. She was embarrassed enough.

"Ok, I won't say anything. But are you okay Leah?" Jacob asked. He had never been friends with Leah, but that didn't mean he didn't care about her. "There is nothing wrong with me. Don't you have a leech-lover to cry over?" Leah spat back at Jacob. His tall frame would be intimidating to others but not her.

Jacob winced, as her words stung him. Bella had made the decision to marry that rich bloodsucker. And everyone knew how upset he was over it. He still loved Bella, even though she had cruelly dumped him for her leech boyfriend. He had spent months with her, helping her get over him after he left with the rest of his mosquito pack. All the time and love he had spent on her left him exhausted and alone. Bella had basically drained him dry of emotions.

"I'm done crying over someone who doesn't love me. And you should be too." Jacob told Leah. Sam cared about Leah but he didn't love her. All his love was for Emily. Hell, any other pack member could tell you that.

Leah scowled up at Jacob. Who was he to tell her to basically suck it up? He had spent the last 2 months moping around for Bella 'the stupid leech lover'. The bitch had basically said 'fuck you' to Jacob and ran off to marry mind-raping Edward. He was in no way, shape, or form to give her advice on anything.

"This is coming from Jacob, the lone wolf obsessed with a stupid human girl. You really don't have any room to talk." Leah said, looking at the tall guy in front of her. "But I have sense enough to try to move on. You should try it too. Sam has moved on happily if you haven't noticed. He is perfectly content with out you and you know it Leah." Jacob knew that his words were harsh, but you had to be harsh and straight forward with Leah, if not she would win the argument or end it.

Leah took a double take at Jacob. Had he really said those words to her? "Jacob you don't think I see them. I know he is happy with Emily. Everyone sees that, I'm not fucking blind." Leah saw and felt Sam and Emily's love every time she had the displeasure of being around them. It was disgusting, vile but she was insanely jealous. "I'm not saying you don't see them. I'm saying that, don't you think its time to _try_ to move on?" Jacob looked down at her, stepping carefully closer. If he wasn't cautious, Leah would bolt the hell out of here before he could reason with her.

"Move on? What do you think I've been doing for the past year? All I have been doing is trying to move on. But how the hell can I do that when they are everywhere, rubbing their eternal love in my face. I can't even escape them when I'm in my own damn house. How the hell am I supposed to move on?" Leah's irritation was building. Did Jacob think she was just sailing through life gracefully? She thought. Leah spent every minute trying to get over Sam and live her life. But she couldn't do that, she was stuck in La Push. The place where her life had begun and so tragically ended.

Jacob looked intently at Leah. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Anyone could see the favoritism that Sue had for Emily. It almost seemed like Emily was Sue's daughter not Leah. "Leah, I'm just saying try. Sam is not the only man alive; there are other guys besides him. Leah you just have to look." Jacob said almost pleading. Leah spent all her time being torn up about Sam that she didn't see anyone else. She didn't see him.

"Jacob there is no one else to look for. Sam was supposed to be everything, he was everything. No one knows how it feels to have someone you love just snatched away from you." Leah said quietly, softening her voice. "I do know how that feels Leah. Bella ran off with a guy who abandoned her in the woods. But she still ran back to him, without hesitation. Not a single glance back at me." Jacob replied, the pain in his chest throbbing from saying Bella's name.

"But can you just try, to see someone else. Just try." Jacob said pleading, trying to connect his eyes with Leah. Leah looked up at the begging Jacob. She saw for the first time that he was hurting just like her. Maybe even worse. Sam had imprinted on Emily without a choice but Bella had chosen Edward over Jacob. His pleading eyes seemed to offer something tempting, an opportunity. An opportunity to try to love through the pain.

She knew now what Jacob was hinting at. He wanted her to see him. He wanted the same thing as her, to be loved and wanted even if for a short time.

"Jacob, what you're asking for I don't think I can give." Leah shook her head. She couldn't give the last sliver of her heart just to have it broken. It happened once and she couldn't do that again. She couldn't _take_ that again.

Jacob leaned down so he could meet Leah's eyes. The sad brownness of them made his heart ache. They could help each other, care for each other so that they could move on. They both needed to be loved, to feel something other than pain. "Just try. I'm not asking for much, just to try." He whispered close to Leah.

Leah nodded slowly, stepping closer to Jacob. It couldn't hurt just to try. They moved closer to each other, neither one of them breathing. Jacob moved in until he could feel Leah's lips. Their softness and warmth was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Jacob opened his eyes to see Leah standing a few feet away from him, a fresh set of tears on her face.

Leah couldn't take kissing Jacob, letting him in would only hurt them both. But it did feel good to kiss him. It had sprung forward a strange batch of feelings that startled the last piece of her broken heart. "I don't know if this will work Jacob. There are things in me that you can't fix, no one can fix." Jacob step forward and cautiously wrapped his arms around Leah's body.

Leah gave in to the warmth of Jacob, done fighting. She let the tears roll down her face into Jacob's shirt. She was done trying to keep up her harsh exterior; she was done trying to be strong willed. It was killing her. "I'm broken Jacob. Miserably, hopelessly broken." She sobbed into his black shirt.

Jacob tightened his arms around her. He was feeling the same thing, he felt it everyday. Pain, loss, anger. He knew all to well what she was feeling. But he knew they could help each other feel something more, love.

"Leah, I know. We are both broken together."

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**Hope you liked it, I have never written a Leah/Jacob story but I just had a little idea about one. **


	2. The Deal is Off!

**Hi! I saw there was a nice amount of feedback for this one shot, so I decided to right a little more. Not really sure where this story will go, but I hope you guys enjoy it. And if any of you are Howl readers, I haven't given up on that story, just shitty writer's block. Thats all, go read! lol**

"We are broken" his words registered in my head over and over. Never had I heard truer words, I was broken if I admitted it or not. Everyone wanted to blame me to be the source of my own problems but I disagreed. I didn't push my fiancé into the hands of my cousin who was supposed to be my friend. I never wished to become a shifter. And lastly I didn't pray for the untimely death of my father. Life had given me this crap version of reality and I could do nothing but wait to die. Who wanted to live when there was nothing to live for? Sure as hell not me.

Jacob had stayed with me at the cliffs after our brief… kiss. Never would I think I would lay my lips on something Bella touched. It still disgusted me now. But it felt good to kiss Jacob, it felt liberating. What Jacob had offered me was something I never expected. He was asking me to love him… well love with him. We were both in need of something to love at the moment and I had stupidly agreed. I must really enjoy inflicting pain on myself because this is ridiculous. How could I, Leah fucking Clearwater give in so quickly to a few sappy words? I wanted to slap myself more than ever.

And what exactly was me and Bella's ex lover supposed to do with this deal. Meet up and exchange breakup stories like ditzy teenage girls or something. My old self was returning as I thought of how ridiculous this plan was. And I invited her in with the door wide open. _Old Leah as well as current Leah was one tough bitch. She didn't cry on the shoulder of__Jacob Black__or agree to some sappy plan of emotional redemption._ I sprung to my feet as my inner voice spoke up_. Leah Clearwater didn't give a damn about anyone except herself and she sure as hell wasn't going to let Spam and Schemeily run her life any damn more.__  
_  
Screw Sam and Emily.  
Screw Jacob's plan.

Screw Everything!

…..

"Leah, Emily is family you could at least be happy for her." Was she serious? My mom wanted me to be happy that Emily was marrying Sam. And what was this about Emily being family. Family didn't screw your ex. "Sure mom." I rose from the dinner table. "I'll even sew her wedding dress too. Would you like that?" I nearly screech. This was the third 'Leah be happy for Emily ' speech and I was so done with it.

"Leah, don't use that sarcastic crap with me. You and Emily used to be so close." she said with a lost look as if she was remembering the past. I quickly brought her too the future by saying, "I've seen German Shepherds and stray cats closer than us. And if you think I'm going to their bile inducing wedding, you have another thing coming." I said before pushing away from the table to quickly retreat to the comfort of my room. The only place were nagging mothers and betraying cousins didn't exist.

With plopping down on the comfort of my sheets, I thought of how messed up this week had been. Mom continually asked me about going to muffin bitch's wedding. And not to mention patrols, if you thought the minds of teenage boys was bad, just add imprinting. Quill had imprinted on Emily's three year old niece. Freaky shit right. And his thoughts are always filled with princess tea party themes and games to play with Claire. It was a pretty big pill to swallow once we got the news. But one thing I loved about Quil imprinting on Claire was that Emily hated it. Ahh yes every time I had the displeasure of being around Emily, I made sure Quil and Claire were there too. The disgusted look on Emily's face was well worth the price of being in her presence.

But the most irritating thing this week was Jacob. Every since our run in at the cliff, he hadn't left me alone. First it was phone calls, so many I had to rip the phone out of the wall just to get some silence. And the annoying dope didn't stop there. He showed up after I didn't answer his calls. I would give him a few choice words (if you know what I mean) and then slam the door in his face. But luckily today he didn't show up or call; my 'leave me alone' message had finally reached him.

I didn't want his pity or anyone's for that matter.

I rolled over onto my stomach and pressed my face in to my pillow to let out an exhausted scream. I pressed my face further in the pillow and held my breath. It was only a few minutes before I felt the constricting of my lungs as they didn't receive the air they needed. I held on tighter letting the ache in my chest become more intense until I gasped out for air. It worked like a charm. Pain was one of the few things I relied on in this world. It was an inevitable response to being hurt or injured and it was the constant reminder that I was alive.

I was alright with pain it was something I had gotten used to over the past year or so. But there were two different types of pain for me. There was the pain I inflicted on myself and then there was the one I couldn't help at all. The one that radiated in my chest, creeping and clawing at my soul. This pain never went away like the one I brought on myself. No this one was with me every minute of everyday. It laughed menacingly as it constricted and twisted my chest in inhumane ways.

This pain was worse than anything else in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

Been a long time coming on this one. Not sure if I will continue or further this story but it is fun to write. Thanks so much for the support and I hope you aren't too mad at this being almost 3 years late. XOXO

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LEAH! LEAH GET DOWN HERE!

The sound of my brother's voice penetrated my sleeping ears. Never had I hated my little brother more than now. I groaned and pulled my pillow over my head a weak attempt to silence his stupid shouts.

LEAH !

**"Shut the hell up you twit!"** I screamed back and jumped up from my bed. I fled my room with the full intention of strangling the only sibling I had. I glanced at the window in the hallway before bounding down the stairs. It was still early morning, no where near the time I usually got up. Seth really was going to get it today. Mom wouldn't even be able to save him.

I rounded the corner right into Seth and wrapped my hot hands around his startled throat. "Seth give me a damn good reason not to snap your neck right now!" I shook him with my hands. This probably looked laughable to an outsider, considering Seth was 6 inches taller than my above average 5'10 frame.

Seth looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe so, it was about time I snapped. "Visitor." he nodded back toward the living room. I loosened my grip as I peered over his shoulder to see who this visitor was. My hands tightened again as I saw who sat quietly on our couch.

Black wispy hair was pulled back in to a ponytail, dark eyes casted down into the lap were her hands were fidgeting nervously. A lean soft face with the features easily recognized as Emily. What was she doing here?

"Why the hell did you let her in here?" I growled pushing Seth into the nearby wall. It took everything in me not to send my kid brother through the wall. "She just said she wanted to talk...to you." he said as if my hands were feathered collars around his neck. I was losing my touch.

I glanced quickly back at Emily, she was still visibly nervous. _Good. And why would she want to talk to me? She was marrying my ex in 3 weeks, talking time was over._ I glanced back at Seth, he shrugged innocently. I sighed then released my grip on him just to thump him on his forehead. "Oww Leah." he winced rubbing his head.

I left Seth to his injury and walked in to the living room. Emily immediately looked up at me. "Hey Leah." she smiled. I wasn't falling for that, it took more than a smile to get a half-decent greeting from me. "You wanted to talk about...?" I said crossing my arms across my chest.  
Emily looked a little saddened by my crossness, but she had no right to be sad. I did but my emotion of choice was far from sadness.

"Leah we never really talked about what happened." she said meeting my eyes. "You want to talk about the reason you are marrying Sam in three weeks?" I said my teeth audibly grounding against each other. Emily shifted in her seat well aware that I towered over her, giving her no escape. "Leah, I just want to say I'm sorry. I never came here to take Sam away from you. I just want you to forgive me, forgive us." Emily sighed, raising her hands but let them fall back into her lap. Did she really think this apology would make the past disappear?

"Emily this is two years too late. Frankly you have wasted your time and mine." I tried to sound as civil as I could. Emily took everything from me and now she wanted to offer me a half-ass apology. "Leah we are sorry. It still bothers Sam about the way things went. Can you just be happy...?" I flinched away from her. Her words stinging me like fire. My mind had mentally finished her sentence and I had to keep myself from phasing in my mom's house.

"You want me to be happy for you? Why the hell would I be happy that you are marrying Sam? Why would I come to your wedding and smile like I'm glad for you two? When I spent two years trying not to rip my eyes out at the sight of you. When I literally want to throw up when someone mentions you both. I may not be the smartest person in the world but don't make me out to be a fool." I shook my head, trying to silence the wolf. All I wanted to do was slap the woman I once considered a sister.

Emily's face twisted in to a scowl, it looked more severe with the three scars tugging at her eye and mouth." I wonder what Sam would think if he hears about the way you talked to me." Emily stood up from her seat, looking as if she just threatened me with a gun. My anger had reached its boiling point and I leaped over and wrapped my hand around her throat. She let out a startled yelp when I pushed her against the nearest wall.

"Do you think I give a damn what Sam thinks. I'm not his bitch you **are**." I squeezed her throat with my hand tightly and her face paled. My hand tightened and the desire to crush her neck was almost impossible to pass. _I wanted to kill my cousin?_ Emily had taken everything that had mattered to me, without the slightest glance back. And now she wanted me to smile and be merry that she was eloping with Sam. "Leah what are you doing?" Seth, out of nowhere came and pried my hand from Emily's throat. She gasped for air leaning against the wall. "Leah what were you thinking? You could have killed her!" Seth said as if I had just kicked the Pope.

"I should've killed her, she deserves that and more!" I roared as my body trembled. Seth's face saddened, feeling the pain that was masked beneath my anger. "Come on Emily I think you should go home." Seth said and tried to touch Emily shoulder to help her off the wall. She snatched away from him and turned to me. "You are a crazy whore. Sam is better off with me. He'll never want you!" Emily screeched at me.

"Get her out of here." I growled at Seth. I knew that Emily's fake ass apology didn't mean squat. And she would surely go run off and tell Sam that I almost killed her and how I'm such a lunatic blah blah blah. Sam would be paying me a visit soon and didn't fucking care, hell he can get choked too.

As soon as I heard Emily's car crank up, I bolted for the back door disregarding the sad expression on my brother's face. Just a few minutes alone in my wolf would help me calm down. As soon as my body passed the beginning of the forest I phased, not caring about the tattered tank and sweats that were shredded in the process. My paws tore in to the wet ground pushing me faster. The moist air whipped through my fur making me feel like I was flying. I wasn't sure where I was going but I had to get away from everyone and everything.

_That bitch, that foul bitch. Emily didn't come to make amends; she came to rub it in my face that she had Sam. She couldn't be happy with the fact that she had him; she had to parade it around. If only I could have just beaten the crap out if her, just make it so the bruises would still be visible on her big day. Sam would want to kill me and that would be fine. I would fight him until I lost and I would be content. The pain would finally end and the world wouldn't have to be worried about Leah Clearwater anymore.__  
_  
My human mind was clashing with the one that was animal, causing the pain in my chest to worsen. I grimaced trying to stop the thoughts and let the wolf take over. My animal instincts were simpler, easier to deal with than the human feeling ands emotions that caused me turmoil everyday.

_Leah?_

Ugh could this day get anymore shittier.

"Not now Jacob! Leave me alone."

Jacob's voice in my head was the last thing I needed. After a week of avoiding him here he was in the very place I didn't want him in. My head.

"Leah, what's wrong?" He said then replayed my own thoughts back to me. I didn't know I sounded that miserable.

"Nothing, leave me alone."

Jacob was silent, but I could see the trees passing him as he ran in my mind.

"Where are you?"

"None of your business."

"You've been avoiding me."

"Is that so?"

"Don't play games Leah."

"There is no game, Black."

"Why have you been avoiding me."

"Because you annoy me."

"You didn't think that at the cliffs."

"That's right. Because I wasn't thinking at all."

"Why are you being so harsh? I thought we had a deal."

"Me avoiding you was canceling the deal"

"Leah I thought we could..."

That's it. I phased and ran back toward my house naked. I found my shredded clothes near the entry of the woods. The only savable price was part of my tank top. I slipped it on and looked down. Barely covers my chest. I looked around to make sure there weren't any onlookers. I dashed toward our back door covering my privates with only my hands. "Ugh Leah." Seth groaned covering his eyes.

"Shut up Seth." I yelled behind me as I bounded up the stairs to my room. Once inside I slipped on my underwear followed by a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt. I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. My face was tired looking and paler. The dark locks on my head were considerably longer meaning I was in for another haircut. This day was really beginning to suck. I calmed the frazzled nerves that ran through my body after my encounter with Jacob.

I had been avoiding him with great success only to be bombarded with his thoughts in my head. It was only a matter of time before I snapped on him and told him to leave me the hell alone.

I wasn't sure why I was avoiding Jacob Black. But I just had a feeling I should. After Sam, I can't trust someone with the little pieces that remain of my heart. And if I reinstated the deal with Jacob, that's exactly what I'll be doing; lending a piece of my heart just to get it returned shattered.

I bounded back downstairs, the feeling of hunger won over my stubbornness. "Are you fully clothed now?" Seth asked holding a spoon over a bowl of cereal with one hand and covering his eyes with the other. "Yes dimwit." I smacked the back of his head and continued on to the fridge. "You know there is a thing called child abuse." Seth said smacking on his Froot Loops.

I pulled leftover spaghetti from the fridge and popped it in the microwave. "You're hardly a kid, _kid_. And you wouldn't call the cops on your big sister would you?" I recited in a child like voice and smirked. Seth frowned, and dug into his cereal. "Just might." he muttered.

"What're you doing today?" I asked taking the spaghetti from the microwave. I sat down beside Seth and started to plow in. "Colin and Brady wanted to go cliff diving, so I said I'll tag along." I smiled. "Pack runts sticking together." I smirked at Seth's irritated face. "Old hags run alone." he laughed but was quickly stopped by my glare. "Just kidding. Um catch you later lee." he said before dashing out the back door. I could hear Colin and Brady greeting him from my place at the kitchen counter. _Old hag my ass._ I popped a forkful of spaghetti in my mouth. I wasn't an old hag. And Seth had never said anything that bad to me. I actually was hurt though I would never admit it. But payback would be a bitch for him.

I finished up my spaghetti and took my plate and Seth's abandoned cereal bowl to the sink. I was washing dishes quietly when the doorbell ringed. Probably Sam; here to kill me for choking his fiancé. I wiped my hands on my jeans and walked over to the door. Expecting a kick in the face but all I got was an overgrown teenager, looking expectantly at me.

"What do you want Jacob?" I said rather calmly, though his presence annoyed me. "If you haven't noticed I don't really feel like talking to you today. Maybe if..." The pressure and warmth of Jacob's lips caused me to stop. I enjoyed the feeling of his lips for a second before shoving him away from me.

"Jacob what the hell..." I wiped my lips with the back of my hand, trying to rid the feeling of fire that had risen in my body.

"I was trying to make you feel better. That was part of our deal." He replied with his heavy lidded eyes on me.

"Yeah, but lip locking wasn't." I pulled him in the house. And did a quick glance outside. "Someone could've seen you."

"And I'm supposed to care what someone else thinks about us?" Jacob frowns and I could laugh at the seriousness of his features if I wasn't still reeling from the softness of his lips. I avoid his question and sighed.

"I thought you were Sam, coming to kill me." I laugh humorlessly and plop down on the couch.

"Exactly why would Sam want to kill you?" Jacob sits down beside me and stares at me with those black eyes I was beginning to like.

"Emily came over today and….." Jake shook his head and groaned.

"Leah what the hell did you do?"

I was quick to defend myself. "It wasn't my fault. She came over here spieling some bullshit about how she so sorry and had no choice. Things got heated; I snapped and almost choked her to death. Seth pulled me off her before I could kill her. "

Jacob groaned again. "Leah, you have to learn to control your anger. Next time Seth won't be there and you'll do something you'll regret."

I frown and grumble under my breath. "I won't regret that."

"You don't know that."Jacob shakes his head and gets up from the couch. He peeks out the window and growls.

"He's here isn't he?" I barely look up from my picking nails and smile.

Sam's fist collides with the door, causing the whole frame to rumble from the impact.

"Leah, open this fucking door!" His growl doesn't scare me and I smile at the door again. He hadn't said my name in awhile; I notice how different it sounded now.

The pounding persists until Jacob goes to the door. I admire his tall frame and how much bigger his is than Sam. He was built to be the alpha.

"Jacob, move the hell out of my way!"

"Sam, calm down!" Jacob widened his stance in front of Sam.

I come to the door and touch Jacob's arm.

"Let him in."

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Tell me what you think. Hugs and Love!


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